I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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