if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
