Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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