I showed him my bush... on skype.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
How external is "for external use only"?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
