Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
