Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
