Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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