And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
