Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
