at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
