Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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