Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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