Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
