Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
