YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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