hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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