it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
whose parrot is this?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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