Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
