i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
