WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
