this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
