nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
