Well apparently he's into motor boating.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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