I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My dick has a subreddit
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
