I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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