Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
