One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
