508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
