brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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