I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
