return my video game
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
