who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You don't make any sense
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