R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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