Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
