I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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