but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
