White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
