Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It's rum buckets o'clock
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
