Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
