i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
