bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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