good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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