Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
