Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
