We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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