I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
