its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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