Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Randomize
