Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
