Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
