My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
